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    9/20/2009

    消失掉的梦境

      最近做的梦醒来后都不记得了。早上好像梦见了高中教室,还有我的吉他老师,我们在上课,是什么课我也不记得了。好模糊的记忆。
      最喜欢最怀念的还是初中和高中时期,以至于后来做梦一直会梦见那个时候的那些场景那些事情那些人。
      有一天我突然意识到一个问题,我太以自我为中心了,所有的句子几乎都是以我为开头或者中心话题,和别人聊天也经常只是别人问我我的情况,而我从来不会问对方的状况。暑假之后慢慢开始改变这个习惯,注意着,不被别人当做自我中心者,否者那样的感觉并不太好。
      现在的脑子里是无数个矛盾的话题。某日无意中发现的事情竟然在梦中又出现,并且变成了很真实的预兆,醒来后就开始觉得不安,九月这段日子天蝎们并不好过,不知道自己应该如何应付。还有人际交往实在是让我倍感压力,每次和一个不熟悉的人完成一段对话后我就要深呼一口气,感觉自己又被释放了,而要对着别人说自己有人际交往障碍又不是件容易的事情,于是每交谈完一次我就像是死过一次又再复活的样子。
      我不喜欢我现在的样子,我任何时候的样子我都不喜欢。我只喜欢自己一个人呆在的样子,没有任何人,不用见任何人,不用和任何人认识、说话。只有空气中只有自己的呼吸的时候,那时候才会有一点点喜欢自己。
      如果我是会画画的人,我多想把所有的梦都画出来。暑假梦见我和爸妈在日本看日全食的那个梦,我一直记着。

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    园 孙wrote:
    如果我是会画画的人,我多想把所有的梦都画出来
    17 hours ago
    koyomiwrote:
    我怎么把你加到网络里?
    Oct. 11

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