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    9/15/2009

    歌唱 是不是拯救自己的唯一的方式

      现在好像每看一场演出,我都要褪去一层外表,然后外面再重新包上新的一层。不知道怎么形容这种感觉,也不知道自己是否是喜欢这样的。
      13号的演出,看得自己好难过。各种原因,我自己也很纠结,在台下听歌的时候我不知道自己该以什么什么姿态站在那,怎么站都不舒服,不自在。以为要来的朋友结果都没有来,以前一起看演出的人都不见了,只有我一个人还站在这里。
      糖果演的时候我就想起了零七年和他们巡演的日子。那可能会是我一辈子的记忆吧。最最深刻的。我们上火车,硬座,拥挤的车厢,第一站就坏掉了的小推车,南昌早晨的煲汤,寒冷的黑铁,在电梯里放了一夜的脚踩;混血落在火车上的外套,老曹幽灵夜翔的接车,稚嫩的花伦,传说中的vox,想念中的小张烤鱼,连夜的士赶回长沙;排练房的小憩,晨雨,南站,大巴去桂林,拯救了我的胃的晕车药与胃药;南宁的王老吉与西米露,螺蛳粉与酸辣粉,火车站安检的叔叔;昆明的各种小吃,偶遇曹方,俊杰的醉酒的朋友,打口店里“这是什么乐队”的混血,老皮的意外的短信;西安青旅的六人间,让我流鼻血的自助西餐……好了,这是所有的模模糊糊的回忆,我不知道说过多少次了,可是这应该是我最后一次说了,再也不会去回忆那些过去了的美好了。
      让他们和它们一起随着时间过去吧。
      我只是站在台下觉得憋屈,哭不出来,笑不出来,说不出来,蹦不起来。

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